Math and emotion: when a child says “I’m no good at this”

“I’m no good at math”

“I’ve always been terrible at it”

“I’m not a numbers person”

Do these phrases sound familiar? Many adults will recognize them. What is worrying is that today we hear them from younger and younger children. Sometimes, at just 6 or 7 years old, some have already concluded that math is not “their thing”. And most troubling of all, that idea does not come only from the classroom: it is in cartoons, in movies, in everyday conversation. Fear of math is one of the few phobias that society accepts as perfectly normal.

But what if it were not true? What if what is failing is not children’s ability, but the way the world of numbers is presented to them?

A phobia passed down without meaning to

For decades we have tolerated, and even reinforced, the idea that some people are “arts people” and others “science people”. As if logical and mathematical thinking were a gift you are either born with or not. As well as being false, that belief is deeply limiting. As Stanford professor Jo Boaler explains: “There is no such thing as a math person. Everyone can learn math to high levels.”

And yet math anxiety is real. It shows up as a mental block, distress, rejection or even physical symptoms such as stomachaches before a test. Sometimes it stems from frustrating experiences at school. Other times, from comments children hear at home: “I was just the same”, “I never understood it either”, “what you’re good at is languages”.

When teaching means abstracting too soon

Many traditional methods teach math through abstraction: symbols without context, operations disconnected from the body and the world, problems framed in terms far removed from children’s experience. This not only makes understanding harder but also creates emotional distance.

Professor José Antonio Fernández-Bravo sums it up like this: “The problem is not that the child does not learn, but that they are not taught the way they learn.” In other words, it is not enough to know how to explain. You have to know who you are explaining to, how they feel and where they are coming from.

The body as a gateway to thinking

At Dragon American School we work from one certainty: learning does not start in the head, but in the senses.

The Qualia® Method, which is part of our educational identity, focuses on the body as the first tool for exploring the world and gaining knowledge. Touching, moving, handling, seeing, smelling, experimenting. Especially in the early years, when the foundations are laid that will later make abstract thinking possible.

That is why, before talking about numbers, we talk about quantities you can hold in your hands, and about distances. Before adding, we compare. Before dividing, we share out. Before solving, we play. And always, always, we give ourselves permission to make mistakes.

What if there is a real difficulty?

In some cases, rejecting math may be linked to a specific difficulty such as dyscalculia, a learning disorder that affects number sense and working memory. Detecting it early is key, but it is just as important not to confuse it with the result of a negative experience or an unsuitable method. Not every child who struggles has a diagnosis. And not every diagnosis means inability.

What can we do at home?

• Avoid labels (even when they are said with affection).
• Do not project our own difficulties.
• Value the process more than the result.
• Show the math in everyday life: in the kitchen, when shopping, in a board game.
• And above all, pass on the idea that learning math is one more way of thinking, not a privilege for a few.

A new relationship with math

At DAS we do not expect every student to become a mathematician. What we want is for no one to grow up believing they cannot think. Because math, experienced well, is not a threat but a language for understanding the world. And sometimes, for enjoying it too.